“Hands off Giorgia Meloni”. Luciana Littizzetto of Che tempo che fa sends her “little letter” to Vovan and Lexus, the Russian comedians who deceived Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni with a fake call. In the conversation, the prime minister, who believed she was speaking to an African Union leader, expressed reflections on the war between Ukraine and Russia and the migrant issue. “Dear Vovan and Lexus, Ric and Gian from the Siberian tundra, Piosky and Amedeosky from the limitless steppe at 40 degrees below zero. And also dear friends of the Russian secret services and to all Putin’s children who are connected at the moment. Secret to everyone,” begins Littizzetto, who, alongside Fabio Fazio, alludes to the involvement of the secret services in the affair.
“It is the one who speaks to you Your colleague Lucianova, mini matryoshka, Russian salad lover and fellow citizen of Ignazio La Russa. There are many cultural connections between our country and yours: 19th century art, classical theater, the budgets of the Northern League. So let’s talk from Toravich to Tovarich. I know it’s hard to make people laugh in this moment, which I would euphemistically describe as Merdosky: There is war, there are viruses, the climate crisis, floods, earthquakes, inflation and every calamity that comes from the sky , but Leave Giorgia alone” adds the comedian.
“Which, by the way, is called Giorgia with an ‘I’, not ‘Georgia’ as you called her. Our Giorgia is not a Caucasian state. She is a woman, a mother, a Christian and also with a staff that is not absolute.” Geniuses. Leave our Melonskova alone, we’ll pick her up with a spoon right away. Stop it, do it in the name of Putin’s Latvians, who have long united our two peoples. Now is not the right time. I’m not going to explain it to you now, but that’s not it. He Meloni is now lying under a trainlike Anna Karenina, which you should know well,” Littizzetto continues.
Littizzetto returns to the end of the relationship between the Prime Minister and the journalist Andrea Giambrun: “She spent ten years of her life with a man with a noticeable quiff, and it ended a few days ago. It happens. As they say in Russia: “All happy families are the same, but every family has a Giambruno who touches his.” I understand that it must be hard to be a comedian in Russia, it’s easier for us because we’re Salvini anyway who is always spouting some nonsense.”
“Instead, nothing is enough for you that Vladimir casually lets you fly from the fourth floor like the Russian oligarchs, that you end up sipping Polonium tea in an airport lounge, or that you dance the night away with Pussy Riot in Siberia. But Pasgiausta.”, please. Leave us the minimum material to joke about. Don’t come and rip the Prime Minister out of our mouths. I tell you in English, don’t touch my melons, and also in Russian: astarzia pacoe Melosnska. Prank Putin if you dare“, is the challenge that Littizzetto poses to his ‘colleagues’.
“Take him to the Gulag on the phone, but if I were you I would first check that the windows of your house close properly. Or give me his number. I have a few things to say to him, like two thirds of humanity, I think. Dasvidania for you and your family. Lucianova,” says Littizzetto before the predictable epilogue. “PS: For Palazzo Chigi. Friends of intelligence, do you have intelligence? Use them. When they call you Ciccio Cheese, Braccobaldo Bao, Kiss Me Licia, Tonio Cartonio and Lupo Lucio and say they are diplomats from Mozambique, tell them they are in the wrong number,” he says. “PPS Of course, you too, Giorgis, if you tell the first person who calls you, we’ll all be ruined. He makes excuses. He talks about the weather, about how well bucatini are made in Rome, about Marcuzzi dancing at Boomerissima. Pull it out and in the meantime ask Ricci to find some off-air people to destroy them all,” he concludes, this time in a very real way.
