Napoleon, “la paille au nez” (straw in the nose)

Napoleon Bonaparte came from Corsica and did not speak French as a child. Once a French soldier asked his name and the little boy answered with a Corsican accent. This high-ranking soldier understood “Napiolloni” or something similar. “There, then you are the slime with la paille au nez (i.e. straw in your nose),” he said to the mocker.

Napoleon swore at that moment that he would cut off the roosters in uniform like him; He vowed to take revenge on the one who would eventually take over almost all of Europe.

We almost wrote it. On the other hand, the son of Corsica invaded England in the 18th century. In the century of Charles XII. of Sweden. Ignoring his defeat in the Great Northern War, he boldly and imprudently attempted to invade Russia. Like Hitler later, the local “Marshal Winter” defeated the aggressive Napoleon and froze and shattered the army under his command…

202 years have passed since his death on the island of Santa Elena, abandoned and imprisoned. 202 years and a thousand films. The greatest of the great filmmakers had wild dreams of filming Bonaparte. Which? Chaplin himself, Kubrick himself. Abel Gance’s film from 1927, on the other hand, is, in the opinion of numerous fans and experts, a pure masterpiece of cinema. However, Gance lost his mind over the near-impossible challenge. In addition to the loss of health, there was no longer a small dog in his wallet.

Marlon Brando was the Emperor of France in front of the camera. Also Patric Chéreau and Christian Clavier. This time in the new film released on Wednesday in France and on Friday in our country, Joaquin Phoenix, who was the Joker, appears to us in a bicorn and a jersey.

Our two and a half hour film, which is playing in theaters near our house, will be 2400 minutes long once it hits the Apple TV platform. We have Ridley Scott as a writer. As many of you know and agree, Scott is the man who makes both the best and worst films. He signed “Thelma and Louise”, “Blade Runner” and “Gladiator”, but don’t forget that he is also the author of the trivial films “House of Gucci” and “All The Money in the World”. But don’t forget that his debut novel, The Duellists, is unparalleled.

Ridley is two years younger than Woody Allen and two years older than Coppola, five years older than Cronenberg and Scorsese. He is an 85-year-old filmmaker in good shape. The second part of the film “Gladiator” is in preparation; who often decides. Which often fails completely. Both with full dignity and the respect the show deserves.

We now have all of France armed and ready for war. This also applies to many historians and film lovers. For good reason. Because this time he didn’t guess in the portrait. And because it’s too far removed from the celluloid licenses that are normally acceptable in filmmaking. Starting from the beginning In the earlier sequences we see the execution of Marie Antoinette… OK. Well, who would have thought that the queen who loved Sofa Coppola would have dressed in gala attire on the way to the guillotine?

If desired, these can also be tiny details. The biggest problem is different. Ridley has no perspective on the man Napoleon was or the myth he became. Neither many (even Beethoven, Goya) initially considered him the liberator of Europe nor the megalomaniac who proclaimed himself emperor. It says nothing, there is no result. Was it even true that he became emperor just to use all his might to crack down on all the despotic monarchies that ruled Europe? Why did so many Spanish intellectuals support him even though the people were on the Bourbon side?

Honestly, I think that even though it’s a huge film, it’s small, very small, in terms of its ambitions and intentions. Of course the fight scenes are contemporary. What Kubrick said comes true on the screen: “Napoleonic battles are so beautiful… They seem like deadly ballets without borders.” It doesn’t matter if you don’t even have a clue about military strategy. Even if you don’t accept that it is an art of war, you will find that these battles are bright, very bright. And this is how we recognize them on the screen. I think history and pity are not well woven together in the narrative. They appear loose and meaningless before our eyes.

Who was this boy with “La paille au nez”, why was he, what he was, what he was looking for, what his dreams were… a thousand questions and not a single answer. Maybe no answer was necessary. Yes, but the internal skeleton that holds up an entire film.

By the way, Abel Gance’s must-see “Napoleon” lasts five and a half hours and is available on the Filmin platform.