YesAllWoman, interview with activist and author Carolina Capria

Thousands and thousands of testimonies of violence. Suffered and then hidden, never reported and in the vast majority of cases never told. To act as an igniter for the stories collected and shared every Sunday by Carolina Capriaon Instagram with the account @lhascrittounafemminawas the news of the gang rape in Palermo.

Every Sunday, he shares on his Instagram some of the painful testimonies of violence that were never reported. How did it start?

“It all started with the gang rape in Palermo. There was a lot of talk about it at the time and there was a lot of media hype. At some point I said that it is difficult to meet a woman who has never suffered harassment in her life. And even if she thinks she hasn’t suffered it, that’s because she calls it something else: it happened to everyone on the street or at work. I didn’t ask anything, but of course there was a flood of testimonies. I can’t even count them, there are over a thousand. I release them little by little, trying to tone them down to give each one the right space and meaning.

Is there something that connects this multitude of stories and experiences, holds them together?

“I think it’s a very useful experience for the reader because you find the qualities that you thought were special in your experience reflected in the experience of others.” The key is: I thought it only happened to me, but it happened to other people too. This way you can understand that the responsibility is not yours and not the victim’s. Knowing that many others have had the same experience, we recognize that this is a systemic problem.”

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Many write: “It’s the first time I’ve talked to anyone about this.” And perhaps they refer to childhood abuse, thirty or forty years earlier.

“At least 80 percent of the messages I receive end with ‘I’ve never talked about this.’ We don’t talk because we assume we won’t be believed. But if we all talked, I don’t know if anything would really happen. But at least we should recognize that suffering gender-based violence is an experience common to all women.”

Why do they confide in her, who is an activist and a feminist but usually talks about books and not abuse?

“There’s a relationship of trust that I’ve built over the years on Instagram with those who follow me.” They know they can trust me and that I’m a safe place. They will never be judged and will always be believed. I feel responsible for this: there is no testimony that I have not paid attention to, that I have not read several times. I took this task to heart and put them away every Sunday: about thirty, sometimes forty. Not too many so that those who follow me read them carefully. And I keep them all in highlights so anyone who wants to take a look can see what’s happening to the women. I will continue as long as they follow me.”

Has anyone ever written to you that after you talked about it on @lhagruppounafemmina, you could also share it with family or friends?

«Several times and it filled me with joy. Some found the strength to talk about it with their partner, others with their friends. Recognizing one’s own story in the story of others is the noblest part of sisterhood. I myself thought about things that happened to me, I had forgotten them. One word that always comes up is shame and it makes you feel the way it feels.”

She also lives in Milan. Every day we collect statements from girls who feel unsafe in the city. What is your perception?

“I live in Milan, I’m not someone who goes out much in the evenings. But I can say that I never felt safe. I can’t say if safety has worsened, but I know that women are more aware of what is happening and what can happen. I see it in myself: the same things that are said to me on the street now and that make me angry or worried, I couldn’t perceive in all their severity when I was 17 years old. Consciousness. The threshold between what is acceptable and what is not has increased. And do you know why it’s good?

Why?

“Because we’re finally talking about it. That was unthinkable a few years ago. And that seems to me to be excellent news.”